Every day I wake up a little bit older. As I advance into middle age I check the mirror just a little more and see the crow's feet starting to form as I apply more cream and think if it is really going to work. Yes it's my fortieth birthday and I am feeling a bit old.
As I make my way down the stairs I am a bit stiff and wonder if leg arthritis is starting to set it. Great I think to myself, this is the age where all the major things in life are going to be shutting down in my body. I'm not close to retiring but I sure am not twenty five any more.
I feel the rain begin to pour as I drop my kids off at school and thank the Lord above for my next present of walking from my parking spot in the rain to ruin my hair. This day is just getting better and better. But it does as I am greeted with a bunch of black balloons in my office. A nice joke but it didn't help my mood.
To top it off there is a bouquet of black balloons from my well meaning co-workers. I try to laugh as I slump in my desk and really being a pity party over my declining state of being, knowing it is all down hill from here until death.
As I look at my ringing phone I see it is a birthday call from my best friend Lisa. She probably has the perfect fun filled dig to give me while reminding me she is two years younger. But as I answered I sense that she is upset. I ask her what is wrong but she tries to play it off.
She apologizes profusely and says she does not want to tell me this on my birthday. But then the tears start and she tells me she just got the news that she has breast cancer. As my heart sinks in my stomach I cry with her. I try to reassure her that everything is going to be okay and I will be there for her. I wish I could hug her through the phone and think to myself how I could be so selfish.
The burden I share with my friend makes me realize how fortunate I am. Sure I feel older but I can look forward to more years where she is doubtful of hers. How could I be so self absorbed and not see all the blessings around me that I have. I was too wrapped up in my own pity. So as I pull up the drive I thank God for the blessings I do have and squeeze my kids hard and thank the man above.
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